We are not "supposed" to have desire. It is an expression of lack when we are full as we are. We are really to just "be". Yet, this journal entry I found from October 23, 2005, is more of a prayer or a form of poetry. I read it tonight and fell in love with an old self that wanted to be different than he was that chilly and rainy Sunday. I know tonight I am. Here it is:
"Desire.
It is my desire to move forward. It is my desire to gain wisdom and to gain understanding. It's my desire to love myself wholly. It is my desire to be spiritual, to have spiritual authority. I desire to lead. I desire to communicate. I desire and I have intention to meet people who are healthy for me, who synchronically fit into a network that "I" am developing.
I desire to write.
I desire to read.
And I desire to write more. To publish. To teach. To record. To disseminate. To read and write some more.
I desire to read more: poetry, essays, great literature, the WORD of God, news, independent authors, plays, even current fiction... to read ME, to read nature, to read people, to read the water and read the clouds. Oh, to read a child!
I desire to sing. Loud.
I desire to take photos. I desire to travel. I want to interview fascinating and engaging people. I desire to hear your story. I long to commune with spiritual people and beings. I desire to learn, to engage the mysterious, to unturn more and more and even more stones - boulders and mountains even. I will unturn a mountain. I desire to study language, read the dictionary for "fun", board a military vessel, run my fingers across the edge of aging manuscripts, to study the lines of a dying man's face. I desire to feel the music beat hard in my flesh.
I desire, ever increasingly, to be more fully alive and wholly present in every moment that I step into.
I desire to live."
Sometimes reading over an old journal entry is the best gift I get. Do yourself a favor: WRITE! BLOG! SHARE!
